I finished a novella about a month ago.

The husband has not had the time to edited for me. With all the working and the yard, he just couldn’t find the time. Which is fine. I wasn’t upset or anything, but it did mean that I had to find an actual editor. Of course I didn’t go around looking for an editor. I did what most Americans do: I went to Upworks.com and found one that had been recommended, for cheap. I’m not rich.

I sent her the my final version two weeks ago and today I got the edits back. She did not like my writing. She’s a good editor that makes comments on the side of the book with questions, such as “why would this character do this?” And “this is a weird secret to have, why would he lie about that?” I completely agree with the questions posed by her because I read them and realized that at no point in the story do I address them. I’m subconsciously expecting for readers to read my mind to know what I mean. At the same time, all the characters traits and actions were taken from real people. How imaginative do you think I am? Do you know why women don’t just dump losers that are clearly toxic to them? Because they love them! Not only have I heard that reason time and time again, I’ve seen close friends do it. Also, if my main character dumps her loser ex immediately, how am I supposed to create conflict? Nobody wants to read a story of girl meets boy; boy is awesome and girl is awesome; boy and girl get married; they live a great life because they want the same things at the same time, while growing together, the end….

I get that some people would never par take in a self destructing relationship, but a lot of them do. I have met so many people in my life that I can mix and match their personality and quirks to make my own characters. I can put actual events into a blender with people and write about that smoothie. While I appreciate her candor, it hurt my feelings. Not only that but it shook my confidence to the core.

Now there is not a lot of things that scare me or intimidate me. I know myself pretty well, so there are situations that I just won’t put myself in. Not because I’m afraid I’ll fail, but I’m not jumping out of a plane any time soon, for example. At one point, the thought of standing in front of a crowd would have had me in a cold sweat, shaking back and fro in a corner of a padded room. Now, I’m just worried that I wont be loud enough. I don’t lack in confidence or guts. There aren’t a lot of things that would stop me on my tracks. With that said, every time I go out with my friend The Hot One, I’m like how does this woman look this good? Let’s face it, her nickname is the Hot One, she looks good!

So when I read the comments, the first thing I did was text my friend the Writer with almost tears in my eyes. Who called me back just to talk me off the ledge! Not only did she completely reassured me, she volunteered to read my story and give me her comments. Which is a big (huge!) deal, cause she has her own books to write and put out….

Maybe this is a test from the writers and friends gods, asking me if I know what I’m doing. Maybe I need to get better at writing. Or maybe, I have the most awesome friends!

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